Lent

I hate Lent.  There, I said it.  It is one of the more important seasons in my church's calendar and I can't stand it.  It isn't that I don't like it very much.  That would be easy.  I DREAD it (and I meant to use all caps).  Maybe this dates back to my childhood, when I would inevitably pick a penance that I was doomed to fail and I would spend the next 40 days berating myself for being human.  I hated the thought of giving something up and I always gave up sweets and chocolate.  For those of you that know me at ALL know that I was destined to fail right away.  I always figured Jesus was disappointed.  "I gave up my life for you and you can't give up chocolate?" (Yes, that is the conversation I imagined having.)

As I got older I decided Jesus wanted me to do something nice instead of being a grouse about giving something up.  That would surely buy me a ticket to heaven and win peace at Easter.  Well, I still always felt like I should be giving up candy!  Yes, I have sweets on the brain and I really like dessert.  It never seemed good enough without giving up sweets.

Don't get me started on Ash Wednesday, either.  I start getting hungry on the Sunday before in anticipation for starving myself on Wednesday.  I can handle Good Friday because...well, it is the day he died.  Can't complain about lack of food on that day.  Also, that means Lent is almost over.  But Ash Wednesday feels black and ominous and it means the suffering for 40 days is about to begin.

Well, my son had a grand idea this year for Lent.  I try not to impart my neuroses on my children.  He joked that he wanted to give up chores this Lent.  Wouldn't that be awesome!  Well, we all had a good laugh and I told him "NO" and he went on to choose a different penance for Lent.  However, that conversation didn't leave me.  What if we could give up chores for Lent?!  That would be great.  Then I began to realize that a chore is only a chore if you look at it that way.  Doing laundry is a chore until I realize that I am taking care to clean the clothes of my children.  Cooking and cleaning are chores until I realize I am showing my love for my family by taking care of them and providing them with a clean home and a good meal.  Maybe I can give up chores this Lent.  Maybe I can look at all the mundane and the required activities as a way to show my love and not as a chore.  Maybe I can say a prayer for those I am doing the jobs for so I have an added closeness with God while doing them.  I think this Lent I WILL try to give up chores.  I will try to give up complaining and whining (even if the whining is just in my head.  God doesn't want to hear that either.). I will try to do for others with a cheerful heart and a longing to help my fellow man and woman.  Cheerful in the same sentence with Lent seems wrong, but I might be able to reexamine how I look at this holy season.  I hope that, then, by Easter, I will have had a true conversion of my heart and will be closer to God and humankind.  Maybe, if I am kind to myself and I forgive my mistakes and shortcomings along the way, I might be closer to myself, as well.  I am not 100% convinced that Jesus is not looking for me to give up chocolate, but changing my attitude seems a big enough task without making it impossible without chocolate.  So...here is to another Lent, may we all grow closer to God, Jesus and each other.