What is
happiness? The other day I had lunch
with a good friend and she looked me in the eye and asked if I was happy. This question caught me off guard. I am used to being asked how I am doing. Are things going well for me? But asked whether I was happy or not really
threw me off. We had just spent the last
hour and a half talking, as good friends do, about our fears for our kids,
about worries about money, about finding our place in the world, and then I am
asked if I am happy. What is happy? That is what stumped me.
If you
ask me happiness I can give you snapshots in time. I am happy when the kids are getting
along. I am happy when I am being
productive. I am happy when I get
through having a fulfilling day. I am
not, however, happy when I have to harp on my kids. I am not happy when I feel like I am hitting
snag after snag when trying to accomplish something. I am not happy when I hear awful news and I
know there is nothing I can do to make the problem better. So, is happiness a series of snapshots? Is happiness when you compile the happy and
sad moments and find that happy wins out?
Is
happiness knowing that you have enough to eat, security in a job and are able
to buy some of the luxuries your kids want?
Is happiness not even about money?
I do think happiness and money are two totally different things, but
worrying about money and how things are going to be paid for does affect peace
and, therefore, happiness. Is happiness
being secure in your decisions? I am one
of the least secure individuals when it comes to decisions about and for my
kids. I second guess myself about what I
am doing and is it right for them, so does that make me unhappy? Is happiness when you are at a point in life
that you were working to achieve? I did
not really plan on being here at this point in life, but then again I didn't plan
on being anywhere. Does that make it a
wash? Is happiness a feeling or do you
achieve it?
Some
people say happiness is a state of mind and a conscious decision that must be
made every day. I don't know if that is
really happiness or just choosing to be happy and positive. To me these are different concepts. Happiness to me is a compilation of peace and
security and fulfillment. However, I
don't know if I can answer the happiness question. Today, right now, I am happy. I might not be happy in an hour, or maybe
this feeling will last all day. Really,
I don't think I will spend much time thinking of my happiness, or I will begin
to feel somehow unfulfilled and therefore unhappy. I am going to continue to get through each
day by facing the tasks at hand. I feel
less overwhelmed when I take one day at a time.
I am going to try to remember to take it easy on the people I love when
I get stressed or frustrated. I am going
to try to make the world a little better place because I was here. Sometimes I will work to undo the damage I
may have inflicted when I wasn't able to catch myself. I will find joy in the accomplishments of my
kids and work to ease the pain and unhappiness they come across. I will also take it a little easy on myself
and not question whether I have reached the point I was supposed to have
reached by this stage of my life. Am I
happy? Good question. One thing I can say is that I wouldn't trade
my life (and, therefore, my past decisions) for anything. God blessed me more than I deserve and I will
work every day to use these blessings and take care of these blessings.
And for
those of you that I wished happiness for 2013...Sorry. I guess that is a very tall order to wish on
someone that can leave a person feeling let down. I do wish that there are more happy moments
than sad. I also wish that you may have
many blessings and are able to see the blessings for what they are. I do pray for peace to grace each life so
they happy moments are more noticeable.
Have a peace filled year.
